My Apologies

I just wanted to apologize for my last post! My dad informed me that I shared WAY TOO MUCH information and that I'm not a pessimistic person so I shouldn't write posts which portray me in such a light. True...it was an over share and a bit depressing. However, I was NOT meaning it to sound pessimistic! I was frustrated and wanted to vent...SUE ME!

P.S. - I love you popsy! You're the best! Thanks for keeping me in line!

I also wanted to thank everyone for their kind words or encouragement, reminders to always have faith and that things WILL work out in the end! I have such amazing family and friends and I'm truly grateful for all of you. And if any of you are going through something similar to this and want to talk...I am always here for you! It's not an easy thing to face alone, which is why Joel and I decided to share our trial with you guys. Having family and friends there for you makes it seem less tiresome. And it doesn't matter how many times I hear your kind words of encouragement...they're helpful each and every time.

Oh, I had my doctor's appointment this afternoon. That was equally frustrating! Due to the fact that I started my per-per they couldn't check to see if I had a miscarriage. So I guess I'll never know if we were in fact prego. That saddens me b/c I think I'd have renewed faith, knowing that we could in fact get pregnant! My appointment was just for a consult and I was only in there talking to him for 10 - 15 minutes. Guess how much that's going to cost us? 110 DOLLARS!!! Yep, that's right...you read correctly! This is mostly why I'm frustrated. Having the parents I do, I immediately shared my thoughts that $110 for maybe a 15 minute visit is ridiculous and I didn't want to pay it! Alas, I lost the fight! I didn't have hopes that I'd be victorious, but it's still a hard blow to my ego and wallet.

I shouldn't have even gone to the appointment b/c I called early this week to talk to a nurse to see if I should come in and I talked to my friend, Sadie (who's a L&D Nurse) and they told me exactly the same thing, if not MORE than my doctor. It was a fruitless appointment to say the least. But he advised us to keep "trying"...hello... of course we're going to keep trying...WE WANT A BABY!!! Also that Joel should see an Urologist and that if in a few months we're still not successful for me to get an ultrasound to see if my tubes are blocked or if I have ovarian cysts. CAN'T WE DO THAT NOW??? Then, if nothing is wrong we should consider doing the IUI (intrauterine insemination).

Personally, I'm planning on skipping some of that b/c Joel and I cannot afford to see an Urologist b/c they tend to be pricy in the things they do. Second, as soon as we get the money to do an IUI, We're doing it!!! We don't want to go in debt for procedures. And during all this, Joel and I WILL be filling out adoption papers. We've discussed it thoroughly after this past week's experience and we want to start the process as soon as we move to Ohio and get settled a bit. So probably after our trip to Texas in September. Yay! We're excited to be taking our own actions to get a baby, whichever method that may be.

So we're excited to see what the future brings! P.S.- Joel and I are very happy and love each other even more through this experience! I don't want people to think that just b/c of this difficult thing we're facing we don't realize the good things in life that we have, like each other. Just in case anyone was wondering!

Roran Philip Delozier (my nephew)

Since this post is about babies, or that lack thereof, I decided to post this adorable picture of my nephew from my Texas trip this past March, for your enjoyment!